Delirium Trigger
by Oriminally
Summary: Chapter 9- Let it be written, that I Major General Olivier Milla Armstrong defeated my cowardly, disgraceful, little brother Alex Louis Armstrong in a battle for our father's inheritance. Make sure you spell my name right and make sure it big letters too.
1. Can You Scratch My

_**Title: **____**Can You Scratch My...  
**_

___**Authoress: **__Lady Constantine  
_

___**Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails**____**: Fullmetal Alchemist**_

_____**Genre: **__Humor/General_

_____**Warnings**__**: This story swears a lot and**__** may**____** contain**__** a lot of sexually explicit stuff.**__** Rated T for Teens**_

_______**Summary**_:

_______Envy's got a bit of a problem...it's an uncomfortable itch in the most unlikely of places.  
_

_______**Author's Note**____**: As I stated in chapter 9 of Dear September (read it if you haven't), I've been suffering from a bit of writer's block so I'm going to do these drabbles and oneshots until my brain is back in gear. If you like a certain story I'll expand on it a bit later. If you have ideas for chapters send them to me! **__**Enjoy!**_

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_________**Disclaimer**__**: I don't own **__**FMA;**__** always wish I did though…**_

_________**Can You Scratch My…**_

_________8:23 Am in Wittier Asylum, Risembool. In my cell._

I was playing my rudimentary and daily game of chess with the guards. Today we were battling it out for the last slice of toasted bread, a shot of Valium, and a week's supply of Keopectat, which would prevent anyone from knowing that I had slipped myself a healthy dose of Tylenol PM this morning. Naturally I would outsmart the guards, and considering my condition (been put in a straight jacket), it was rather sad that I was still able to beat them efficiently with my feet.

"Knight to A3,-

"Invalid move Mr. Havoc…" It was a_______very_ valid move, but he wouldn't know. Humans never pay attention to anything that required both wit and skill…of course neither did I, but I'm not human.

"Rook to B2?"

"Rooks can only move vertically and horizontally…" I doubted he knew what either word meant, but he nodded thoughtfully.

"Then what can I do?" _________You can shut up and give me the keys…_

"Bishop to H6…" I said with a grin.

"Hahaha Envy. I know you by now, I should do the opposite approach!" My grin faded into a scowl as a mumbled a curse. "Check!"

My grin returned soon after, I knocked away his knight with mine. "Checkmate you loose again Havoc. Better luck next time." An inconsolable itch spawned on my bottom. I yawned, "I'll tell you what, you can keep the bread and the Keopectat, hell even the Valium."

"Wow. Really?"

"Yes…"

"Thank Envy…" he said in astonishment.

"Although….I require a bigger favor that that. Can you scratch my-

"Forget it." Havoc lit up a cigarette, enjoying my obvious discomfort. "Hey, Mustang, why don't you ever play a game with him?"

Mustang stole a smoke from Havoc. "There aren't enough hours in a day…" we grinned at each other. I knew very well that I would—indefinitely—kick his ass. But I credited him for being smart enough to reserve his dignity and lie.

The phone rang; Colonel Mustang went to go pick it up. "Envy you have two visitors—twenty minutes with each. The first is…Gracia Hughes…" he said solemnly and gave me an angry stare.

"Fine, fine…_________I'll be nice this time…_"

_________8:23 Am in Wittier Asylum, Risembool. In holding…_

I smiled as she came in, "Ah welcome, I trust you're getting back from your husband's funeral? I really wanted to say the eulogy."

"I just wanted you to know…Envy I forgive you…" I sighed and rolled my eyes. It's amazing how humans think I actually care about being forgiven. Hell, if I did hold the 'guilt' emotion at one time, it long been drowned out with Novocain, Ketorolac and Valium.

I found it even more amazing—still, that she could lie to herself and actually say those words. But I needed her for something important…maybe I could fake my way into getting what I wanted.

"Humans are trite little shits aren't they?" I chuckled, "would you like to know how I killed your husband?" Her face flashed with many different shades of horror. (Like turning pale white and proceeding to green as I continued). "Well it was rather too easy so I got bored and stabbed him repeatedly. I thought about slicing him up and eating him. But dear me, I'm no Hannibal Lecter (Though he is the human I emulate the most). Gluttony might have taken a nibble somewhere somehow, but my dear Gracia, you and I both know that he's not going to miss _those_ family jewels anytime soon."

"I-I know this is just an act you put on! You're really scared inside!" I would have balled out laughing if her solemn look wasn't so startling, just a few more lines and I would have what I want.

_Damn I hate bible-preachers…_ "You're right…Mrs. Hughes. I'm sorry. It was…all just…But I had to do it! He found out who I was too soon!" I said in a low whisper to make anyone hearing think I was truly scared. "A-and the next thing you know…" I covered my eyes and pretended to sob loudly, the itch in on my butt getting worse. I was actually laughing, but it all sounded the same to her.

"It's okay Envy…I told you…I forgive you." She hugged me and I hid my grin behind her back.

"There is but one favor I ask you…"

"Anything Envy! Anything for progress!"

I gave a look of innocence. "Will you scratch my ass?"

_________8:23 Am in Wittier Asylum, Risembool. In holding…still_

Master Dante decided to send her pet Lyra to nag at me again.

"Envy I can't believe you got caught! What the hell do you think you're doing! You're lucky Pride let you off with five months in a mental ward!"

"Yeah to actually think they bought my insanity plea." I rolled my eyes. "So…how are the twins…" I said looking at her cleavage with a sly smile. She turned beat red.

"Envy you better knock it off! Wait till Dante finds out! She'll punish you severely!" I drowned out her voice with the music that was playing next door. I think it was bluegrass…regardless, I hated it, and it didn't work. So I made a list of things Lyra reminded me of:

"You good for nothing-

_________Nails on a chalk board_

"Disease ridden-

_________The sound of glass breaking…_

"How could you do this-

_________Lyra's first day of her period…_ "Oh by the by Lyra, is it your period?" she turned even redder.

"WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE MY PERIOD!"

_________Definitely__ her period…_

"Ugh Envy why can't you just understand…"

_________A truck backfiring__, Sanjaya singing…or maybe it was more William Chungish…two prostitutes fighting over a twinkie…_

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Lyra. Do you want to know what I found out or what?" I said impatiently.

"Really? Wow…you're smarter than I thought you were." She came close to me, as if she were going to kiss me.

_________Eww…_

"Uh huh, well next time will it kill you to shave your beard at least once a month? Not only is it growing a little furry, it's growing…stuff…period…" She held her breath and turned fire engine red. "Before you get mad and do anything rash—like realize no one wants to sleep with you— and speaking of rash will you do me a small favor and scratch my ass?"

_________-Slap-_

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_______**A/N: Yay first one down!**________** Can anyone answer the question: why is Envy in this asylum? (hint it's not because he's crazy or murder…) Anyway next chapter 'I Am Happy/Sad/Wrath' It's so sad :(!**_


	2. I Am HappySadWrath

_**Title: **__**I Am Happy/Sad/Wrath**_

_**Authoress:**____ Lady Constantine_

___**Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails**__**: Fullmetal Alchemist**_

___**Genre**____: Angst_

_____**Warnings**__**: This story is gory**__**. Rated T for Teens**_

_______**Summary:**_

_______A breif look into Pride's past and why he is the way he is.  
_

_______**Author's Note: **____**Yeah this is a pretty sad oneshot I made with pure Angst in my heart. This is the manga Wrath, which would be the anime Pride. That is why he has the ability to age.**_

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_________**Disclaimer**__**: I want FMA, I want to make lots of cash that way, but sadly I don't own it. Never will…damn**_

_______**I am Happy/Sad/Wrath**_

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_________Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world.__—William Shenstone_

* * *

_________I have isolated myself in this place for a reason…_

_________This__ world can only bring pain…_

_________This world will only feel my __**wrath**__ in return..._

_________I am the embodiment of this world's __**hate**_

_________When I touch you…can you feel it too? _

_________The __**anger**_

_________ The __**shame**_

_________All these feelings you thought you didn't have…_

_________I brought them to you…_

_________It hurts doesn't it?_

_________It hurts…_

_________It hurts…_

_________I hope it hurts __**A LOT**_

* * *

"Do you see that kid over there?" A boy whispered to a young girl.

"Yeah, why is he all alone?" She proclaimed loudly back.

_________Because I want to…I want to be alone…_

"Should we ask him to play?"

"No way! He's pretty creepy looking!"

_________You have no idea…_

"Stop being ridiculous! I'm going over to ask him."

_________No don't-_

She approached me. I looked to the movie in front of me—that's what this was, a flick, it couldn't be real, but I will continue anyway. A familiar scene played in front of me, a minute girl with boundless, apricot, colored hair. She was pinnacle of beauty and if we were to describe her using gems; her hair would be reddish orange emeralds— her skin... ivory and her eyes...beryl, of an aquamarine kind? Yes, she had bright blue eyes, maybe cerulean, maybe...translucently colored—but, regardless it reminded me of a happier time in my life.

I had slowly begun to realize why this flick—this motion picture, this girl in particular, looked so familiar. Why it looked so genuinely warm, and why the kindness it contained was liberal at worst. It was because this time…the flick was _real_, the girl was _real_… She was happy seeing me. For the first time in a long time…I felt the warmth of a human.

"Hello?" she caught me gazing deeply into her eyes.

"H-hello…" my voice surprised both of us. I had not spoken words in a long time. I was surprised that even after all that I've been through, I can still sound normal. I decided…I liked my voice.

"Hi!" she smiled kindly. "My name is Isabella Willows! And you?" Her voice—Isabella's voice was calm as she talked to me.

_________That's right…no one knows what I am…at least not __yet…_

"My…my name is—no… They call me Wrath… I have no name of my own…"

"Wrath? Doesn't that mean Angry? Funny you don't seem the least bit vengeful. More like depressed."

"Being sad is better than my anger…"

"No it isn't! Anger is just a big burst, then it's over! But sadness makes you dwell on things. _'Anger is a brief madness.' _See?"

"Some truths aren't meant to be known, some doors are kept locked for a reason… _'Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.'_ That too is the truth…the best answer to anger is silence…and in solidarity I shall remain…"

"Whatever…" Isabella rolled her eyes. "So won't you play with us?" I looked over her shoulder.

"Your friend is gone…"

She spun around. "W-what? Argh! That Ian! Ooh he's gonna pay!" she stomped her foot hard on the ground then laughed. "See short bursts."

I nodded; she didn't understand what could happen in a short burst…

"I guess I'll just stay with you and chat. I'm not going to call you Anger so I'll make up a name…hmmm." She thought long and hard. Her beautiful eyes changing colors as she reached her decision. "How about Bradley?"

I chuckled—my voice surprising me again. Did I really laugh? _________Am I…really happy?_"It's fine, so my name is Bradley?"

"If you want it to be, it shall. So enough of this already, let's go play!" Isabella gave me a quick kiss before squeezing my hand…

* * *

Isabella and I had spent every moment together, every moment until that day when I saw her kiss that boy named Ian.

"Ever since that weird kid's been with you, you don't have any time for me…"

"Aww I'm sorry Ian." She gave him a small peck on the cheek and he smiled happily.

"All is forgiven now!" They chuckled. I had been watching them in secrecy from behind a tree. Seeing them laugh, they were laughing at me, sharing some cruel joke. That they knew what I was. _________They're going to tell everyone __are__n't they?_ _Tell them what I am—a __**homunculus**_

_________You can't do that__… I want to live…I want to be human!_ I cried, but they weren't listening, they were too busy laughing at me. So I found my solution. I was going to kill them both, they wouldn't tell anyone else about me then.

* * *

I visited them at twilight, making sure to drag the two (who wouldn't stop holding hands—much to my annoyance), into the deepest part of the forest they found me in. I had also taken a lance—which I claimed was to cut through the shrubbery…

_________What idiots…_

I took the opportunity to slice off Ian's head while no one was paying attention. Gratifyingly, blood had rained down on Isabella and me. She let out a shriek as soon as she realized what happened.

"Bradley! W-what did you do! You killed him! You killed Ian-

"Shut up! You lied to me!" I watched as the blade came down on her arm, hacking it clean off. I giggled…how _fragile_ Isabella was. "You lied to me…you said you loved me… but you don't…you love Ian!" I stabbed his lifeless body over and over. "Love Ian now Bella! Love him in_______ hell!_"

She looked at me with shock. I hated her face…. "Bradley…you killed…brother…are you going to kill me too? I don't want to die…" she sobbed.

"Brother!" I crumbled to the ground. So that kiss she gave him on the cheek. They were brother and sister…I now saw that they both had the same eyes, the same hair…the same everything. My God they were twins…and I had killed her twin. Why did I kill him? Why didn't I see it before? I shook violently and collapsed to the floor.

"I-Isabella…remember how I told you…anger was…bad…"

"Mmhmm…" she said through tears, her eyes reflecting like puddles.

"Now do you believe me?" I cried. "Isabella, I'm sorry…" she gave me a weak nod before passing out…

* * *

_________All this…I had caused all this…for nothing… Was it always to be my nature to crush out all emotions that had to do with happiness?_

_________No…because I still loved Isabella…and that could never be taken away…which is why…_-

"Bradley?" there was a tap on the window; I remembered the phone that hung limp in my hand as I talked to Isabella through the glass. "Will you come out to play today? Brother and I will be waiting…"

"Not today Isabella…" I watched how she had grown up, to become a woman. Long hair…tangled. Eyes- eye, almost lifeless. A frail body of an amputee, the left arm marking our past. I had grown up, unmarked by my actions of that night. The only remembrance of it I contained, was in my heart, I was glad for the first time in my life that I didn't have such a trite organ.

But it I didn't have one, a heart...why did it still hurt? Why did it still hurt when I saw her?

I began to walk away from the room in the sanatorium she lived in.

"Ah- Bradley! You will play tomorrow, right?"

I looked back at her and nodded. "Yeah, maybe tomorrow…"

"I won't forget!"

_Yes you will…Yes you will…Because I'm not coming back. And you'll never have to remember this again._

* * *

_________I've isolated myself from this place for one reason…__**guilt**_

_________This world I live—this world I was born into__…it can only bring her pain_

_________I am what I am…_

_________So a warning to all…_

_________Those__ who try to get close will feel my anger in return…_

_________I am the embodiment of my own __**spitefulness**_

_________ I am __**WRATH**_

_________And you know what…_

_________It hurts…_

_________It hurts…_

_________God…it hurts __**a lot**_

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_______**A/N: Whoo it's over! I thought it was kind of sad, but it was better than the long (Rated M), stuff that I actually had. This is one piece I plan on expanding later on. Next chapter we feature some priceless Royai in 'Fiery (Like Our Passion)'. Tchau!**_


	3. Fiery Like Our Passion

_**Title:**__** Fiery (Like Our Passion)**_

_**Authoress**____: Lady Constantine_

___**Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails**__**: Fullmetal Alchemist**_

___**Genre**____: Romance_

_____**Warnings: **____**Romance…'tis all**_

_______**Summary:**_

_________ A Royai! Featuring your favorite pyromaniac(s) Roy and Riza._

_______**Author's Note**____**: Just enjoy!  
**_

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_______**Disclaimer: No I don't own FMA (STFU)! But I do own a human size Pedobear.**_

_________**Fiery (Like Our Passion)**_

"We can't be really doing this…We're not going out this time!"

"So I have a bit of a problem with arson."

"A bit!" Yelled Riza, "You set the whole restaurant on fire last time we went on a date. You can't tell me that knocking over a candle can explain the whole desecration of that building. I'm so ashamed. I can't believe you talk me into it going out with you every time. We could have killed people!"

"Look on the bright side. We made some pretty enjoyable fireworks…"

"That's not the point!" I enjoyed it when Riza was even the slightest bit annoyed with me. She knew I enjoyed it, which is why she sighed every time.

"I'm sorry I ruined our date…yet again."

She sighed and plopped onto a chair. "It's OK…I just…wish that…"

_That I would change? Riza you know better than to expect that from me._ "Wish what?"

She got up abruptly. "Just never mind, I'm going home." I took her by the hand so she wouldn't leave.

"Won't you just stay awhile? This time I promise not to burn the restaurant to the ground…"

"Yeah right, you'll find some reason to watch the embers lick at the timbers."

"No—wait…yeah you're right. So we're going to stay here and order takeout?"

"No…" She grinned. "I've always hated Italian cuisine. Shall we cruise for some?"

I chuckled. "Certainly, I'm not a big fan it myself."

"But I love tiramisu…"

"Same, hmmm. But if we burn them to the ground the tiramisu will melt."

"We'll have to eat quickly."

"Indeed." We both were trying to find reasons not to do this act vandalism, but it seemed so right. Riza seemed so right. I gave her a light peck. "I love you…"

"Yeah, and the problem is I love you too." She blushed, but I was glad. The color that graced her face, it had also illuminated her eyes. "Damnit, let's just go burn them down already!" She giggled and ran and I chased after her.

_So we both had a little bit of a fire fetish…_

_And one day we might get caught…_

_But for now our fiery passion would never be extinguished…_

_Because it was explosive…_

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_________**A/N**__**: It is over! Whoo! Next chapter 'Reeking Havoc'!**_


	4. Reeking Havoc

_**Title**__**: Reeking Havoc**_

_**Authoress**__: Lady Constantine  
_

_**Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails**__**: Fullmetal Alchemist**_

_**Genre**__: Humor_

_**Warnings**__**: Foul Language—minor sexual comments.**_

_**Summary:**_

_A short comedy. Breda tries to convince Havoc to stop smoking._

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_**Disclaimer: DON'T WANT TO! DON'T WANT TO DON'T WANT TO! DAMNIT I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO! sigh because I have made this fanfic I must always say. 'Disclaimer I don't own this.' But you already knew that didn't you?**_

_**Reeking Havoc**_

"I do_ not_ have a smoking problem!" Havoc replied defiantly.

"Are you sure about that! LOOK AT THIS PLACE!" Breda argued.

"Your point?"

"You reek of smoke, geez. You're whole house is literally an ashtray."

"So?"

"Sooo—how do you ever expect to get laid with this kind of lifestyle? It's time for a change!"

"I do get laid!" Havoc took out another cigarette and smoked it.

"Two dollar _'service maids'_ don't cut it." Breda rolled his eyes.

"You're one to talk!"

"At least I get it from regular chicks!" There was a knock on the door Mustang busted in.

"What the hell…Havoc…-

"It's fine! Shut up and get the hell out!"

"It's a fire hazard," Mustang said calmly. Breda who knew exactly what he was hinting at had chosen to exit the vicinity.

"No it isn't, they're all used up." Mustang grabbed the cigarette from Havoc's mouth and took a long drag.

...Five Minutes Later...

"M-my apartment!" Havoc's mouth gaped as the apartment went up in flames. Mustang was by a telephone booth phoning the fire department.

"I told you so…"

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_**A/N**__**: Well this has been my shortest drabble yet! Coming up next week a musical? Tune in for **__**'Procrustes Edwardo'**_


	5. Procrustes Edwardo

_**Title**__**: Procrustes Edwardo**_

_**Authoress**__: Lady Constantine_

_**Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails**__**: Fullmetal Alchemist**_

_**Genre**__: Horror/Humor_

_**Warnings:**__** Foul Language—minor gore.**_

_**Summary:**_

_A collection drabbles and oneshots featuring almost all FMA characters with various diseases and triggers. Please read and review!_

_**Author's Note**__**: We've all heard of ghost stories—those frightening tales told to little ones so they'll sleep warily through the night. But this one, my friends, this tale, will get you out of bed…possibly forever!**_

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_**Disclaimer**__**: You know…we've come to this conclusion a thousand times, but it's not enough is it? SO FINE YET AGAIN I SAY: I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST OR ITS CHARACTERS!!**_

_**Procrustes Edwardo  
**_

"Please sir! I have a wife and three kids!"

"_Oh?_ Then… I should let you go right?" the man said kindly. He grinned wickedly soon afterwards, "Wrong! If your family meant so much to you, why are you here with that whore? You sir, are a selfish man." He took the head of a nearby decapitated woman. "Soon you will end up just like her—

"Brother! Edward!" A voice on a megaphone called to him from above.

Edward growled, "What is it now Alphonse?"

"We have more guests coming in." Edward's eyes lit up as he turned back to his victim. "I'll be up in a second…" he shut off the megaphone. "I'm so sorry I can't stay to see your wonderful death. But do scream loudly. Maybe I'll hear your cries and think twice about killing you?"

"Y-you're a monster!"

"My, my, aren't we in a position to make a decision like that." He turned on the machine and climbed up the basement steps. _"Not…"_ When he was outside the door he listened intently for those cries.

_Snap…_

_Then screams of agony,_ Edward sighed and inhaled. _How that nose excites me so…-_

"Edward!" Alphonse yelled. "What are you always doing down there?" He looked calmly at his brother. His beautiful brother with long russet colored hair and equally colored eyes that lit up with gold anytime he smiled. It gave him a rusting appearance. _Wasn't that many years ago we were concerned about that very same issue. _Edward chuckled at his inside joke.

"Well?" Alphonse asked impatiently. Edward licked his lips before responding. "Fixing a few gizmos here and there. Nothing seems to be broken, but why put off what you can perfect today for the _wear-and-tear_ of tomorrow?"

Alphonse sighed. "Brother you work to hard," he hugged the impish man. "Why don't you relax sometime and let me do all the work for you."

Edward tried to swallow a lump that appeared in his throat. He cleared his throat and said "It's not work if you enjoy it."

"I can't imagine the _joy_ in tedium." Alphonse rolled his eyes.

Edward grinned. "Ah, which is why you must spice it up every time you do it, so that it remains refreshing—and even more enticing than before." Al nodded, but he was just glad his brother had found peace in his new life.

"Things are finally getting back to normal Ed. After the war…I thought it would never be the same."

He scowled. "Nothing's _ever_ the same after war. Normality cannot be comprehended after you've seen the oddity that is war. But if you can accept both as reality…I guess you can—somehow, survive in it." Edward said sadly. "Anyway enough of this depressing subject. Where are our new guests?"

"He should be arriving shortly. I won't tell you his name. I want you to be surprised." Al grinned as Edward grumbled. Everyone knew Ed _hated_ surprises. There was a knock on the door. Alphonse quickly opened it.

"Edward you do remember Mayes Hughes, right?"

He smiled widely. "How could I forget?" He quickly hugged the man that had been like his father for nearly five years. Edward—finally remembering they were not alone, assumed a statuesque position.

"Welcome to '**Chroniques en Noire et Blanche**'."

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_**A/N**__**: This is the first chapter of a story I intend to expand quite soon. Look for it, I didn't put the play up simply because I didn't feel like it. I like this version better.  
**_


	6. The Winterfresh Alchemist

_**Title**__**: The Winterfresh Alchemist**_

_**Authoress**__: Lady Constantine_

_**Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails**__**: Fullmetal Alchemist**_

_**Genre**__: Humor_

_**Warnings: Foul Language—minor gore.**_

_**Summary**__**:**_

_HAHAHAHHAH LAUGH AT THE MARY SUE WITH MEH!!111111oneoneone_

_**Author's Note**__**: I'm sorry this chapter is so very late! But I've been visiting boarding schools—so please forgive me! This chapter is just a preview of a fic I plan on starting next week! Look for it!**_

_**In other news, screw the new formatting. I'm not going back in documents and reformatting everything so my underlines will show.**_

* * *

_**Disclaimer**__**: Roses are redish, Violets are blueish. We all have our fettish. BUT FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST ISN'T MINE!**_

_**The Winterfresh Alchemist**_

One day, a crack head author was cranking on her winterfresh gum, reading a fanfiction entitled '_The Sue Alchemist'_. After laughing her ass of and choking on her gum (while writing a tasteful review of course), she thought it would be cool to try a Sue fic of her own. Sort of a parody of her own works and others!

So yes, this Sue-ish chapter would be so supposedly angsty it would take itself more seriously than Wikipedia and MIley Cyrus fans combined.

This is the story of a girl…this is a story of a dream… this is the story of the _Winterfresh Alchemist_.

It was a dark and stormy day—er night. A night that was so filled with epic darknesses that this author (let's call her Riyo), might have to write meaningless paragraphs (with parenthesis cuz I has a thing for them), just about it. But fortunately, Riyo wasn't that bored so enjoy the simple line of '_it was a dark and stormy night'_.

Our protagonist was sitting in the rain, crying and swearing her exceptionally cute ass off. She had just learned that Edgar Allen Poe died…

"DAMNIT!" she swore. "Wai? Wai?" She slammed her fists on the ground, making her hair dance in the rain soaked wind. The Sue's hair was spiky black and short with a tube-like ponytail wrapper thingy (too lazy to find its name on Google) hiding the rest of her unbelievably long, shiny black hair. Also the Sue's hair was highlighted with _dontcha-wish-your-boyfriend-was-as-scene-as-me?_, electric blue streaks. The Sue had also worn a Japanese school girl's uniform (even though we all know Japan didn't exist in this series). Her name was Kimiko (for obvious reasons).

Oh yeah, did I mention she's the only Ishvalan with blue eyes? And black ears and a cat tail! Yeah cuz she's also a demon cuz tht's h0w ai r0l3. Anyway, you could tell by just staring into those big perfect (another big word for blue) eyes that she had a past so riddled with sex, lies drugs, and biodegradable tampons that it totally beat anyone's reason for cutting.

_Pfft_, yeah so you claim you do it to feel alive, Kimiko did it cuz she's bored.

The author still needed to stall for time because Kimiko was putting on her mascara. You'll just have to wait until Kimiko's done reapplying her mascara for the 7th time before we continue…

"What? The 7th layer is the last and most important!" Kimiko hissed. The author agreed and decided to continue illustrious descriptions with a sigh.

Kimiko (whose name will be revealed yet again dramatically later…), had a black footed ferret named Mimori as a companion.

_Mimori was blue…_

"Done!"

_Finally,_ Riyo sighed. Okay now time to begin!

"_Oh Prejudice, why are you crying…"_ A voice from nowhere that sounded exactly like Pride said.

"Go away! I don't need you anymore! Leave me alone, my name is Kimiko now!" Kimiko yelled into the window.

"We'll see, I always get my girl back…" The voice cackled, and it thundered as he cackled making it sound oh so malicious and creepy.

Suddenly, the hotly sculpted Adonis of a Man that even your mama would fan girl scream for, Roy Mustang appeared behind her, shielding her body with an umbrella!

"Excuse me ma'am. I saw a wet, hot, skimpily dresses girl crying and I wondered what a pretty heiress like you was doing crying in the rain?"

"I wasn't crying!" Yesh, because it wasn't badass or angsty to be caught crying.

"Yes you were-

"Nu uh!"

"Yeah uh!"

"I'll challenge you to a game of connect four to prove I'm right!" So Kimiko and Roy duked it out in an epic battle of connect four (was that invented back then?).

"HAHAHAH I WON!" Kimiko proclaimed victoriously.

"Where?"

She pointed to the rows. "There, diagonally."

"Pretty sneaky sis." Roy wagged his finger. "But still, won't you tell me why?" He smiled (not grinned!) that sweet smile that now only existed for her.

"I was sent here…to save the world." She blushed. And she blushed even redder than red because us weeaboos love cute Japanese girls that blush and make us want to play Gwen Stefani's _'Harajuku Girls'_ just to hear them say 'SUPA KAWAII'!

Roy laughed. "Oh really?" He didn't believe her, like any naturally sane person he doubted the little skimpily dressed Sue.

"Damnit I'm getting tired of your commentary!" Kimiko yelled at the author. She shot an icy blast at the sky, thus killing Riyo indefinitely.

_But wait, Riyo was revived by the dragon balls conveniently gathered for this occasion! _HAHAHAH EAT THAT!

"You can do Alchemy? And without a transmutation circle?" Mustang was clearly stunned; he hadn't seen anyone do that since the last Sue!

"Um yeah, you weresn't supposed to find that out!" She blushed again. "Don't tell anyone Please!" Kimiko got up quickly and ran towards Mustang. Conveniently her shirt buttons popped off and Mustang was exposed to a boobloza (w/e that is).

Don't worry kiddies, unlike most anime girls; she was wearing a bra...

"OMG embarrassing much!" she chuckled. Roy and the author restrained themselves from poking them to see if they were real. Because they were humongous. "So like, wat's your name?"

Mustang did a number of flashy shows with the snap of his fingers before saying "Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist."

She also smirked and striked up a various number of Sailor Moon-like poses before stopping to blow an icy kiss that mystified the surrounding air (Inspired by various Winterfresh commercials)!

"I am Kimiko MitsubishiGodzirraTamaguchi-chan, the Winterfresh Alchemist!"

* * *

_**Author's Note: I know this chapter was awfully random, but next chapter will be better! It will feature Gracia Hughes, Elysia Hughes, a (ghost) Maes Hughes, and Alphonse! Coming up next time—**__**Elysium**__**!**_


	7. Glazed Over

**_Title_****_: Glazed Over_**

**_Authoress_**_: Lady Constantine_

**_Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails_****_: Fullmetal Alchemist_**

**_Genre_**_: Fantasy/Angst_

**_Warnings_****_: None that I can think of...maybe character death._**

**_Summary_****_:_**

_So nonbelievers we preach you this song! Listen for it all day long, for we come back alive, but no one shall see. We come back to die, so no one can bleed. Crucify us painfully so none will hear it. Crucify us shamefully to kill our spirit._

**_Author's Note_****_: I'm so sorry this chapter is so late. I mean late doesn't even describe it! I own you all an apology. So in honor of my apology I made this a three-shot (and an epilogue) in each person's third person point of view. First up is Gracia, then Elysia, then Hughes himself and lastly an epilogue to tie the knot._**

* * *

**_Disclaimer_****_: I don't own FMA, but as far as we're concerned I might own the word 'liopleurodon'._**

**_Glazed Over_**

_"The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that dream is reality, and it really happened."_

_-((Unknown)) _

The little girl with rolling blonde hair and soft emerald green eyes that seemed to sparkle with every defining moment. The little girl with a smile that always caused a tinge of blush on her delicate frail skin. The little girl with pigtails that cried depressingly when she finally realized her father was truly dead.

Gracia missed that little girl... a lot.

Because not too long after that day-maybe a couple of months she was given a new child-a new Elysia that claimed desperately that her father was still alive, and tangible to her. A new Elysia that swore she played hide-n-go-seek with him every Friday, and visited his castle every Tuesday. Gracia had warned that girl, she had told that child many times that her father died and was never coming back. But the child persisted with her nonsense stories, even at the age of ten...

This wasn't her child, Gracia always told herself, her child had died a long time ago in that train crash. She used that mentality to stop herself from showing this new child any love. It wasn't hers; therefore she had no reason to care for it. Gracia constantly got in fights with the new Elysia, she would always claim,

_"Ya huh! He's king of a new world, and he's naming it after me. Guess what it's called... Elysium! He says that he's having fun there with all his friends."_

Gracia growled at her reference and how the new Elysia had mocked all of her friends' deceased memories. At first it was a tolerable way to cope, but now it was just sickening.

All of the well known State Alchemists had died, whether too heartbroken by both deaths of Edward and Maes or teetering on the edge of senility and thinking that suicide was a better compromise than medication... She was beginning to think the same thing too.

Gracia would always ask the child of all the people who were in this 'Elysium', and she would always reply,

_"Well there's Mr. Mustang, Riza, Mr. Armstrong, and even Black Hayate is there!"_

When Gracia asked of the Elrics, Elysia would always say,

_"Naw, they went to another world! I want to go there too someday..."_

After this remark Gracia would always deliver a slap to the child. Cursing her for ever thinking about killing herself, but Elysia would just respond softly,

_"It's not dying; it's sleep, with a perfect dream, because when you wake up you're always surrounded by happiness."_

Gracia hated that child so much for this. Didn't she see that it was hard enough working on a waitress's wage, trying to support an otherwise brilliant girl, in a private school? Didn't she see it was hard? Apparently not, because everyday they would have to run through the same story over and over again.

Until finally, Gracia was fed up-she indulged the child no longer...

"SHUT UP!" Gracia screamed at the top of her lungs. "You're lying! You're lying!"

"B-but Mommy, you told me never to lie. I never lied in my whole entire life. It's real, if you only could see-

"All make believe and fantasies. It's _not real_."

"Not real?" The child was clearly confused, obviously no one told her the concept of reality yet.

"All those voices-they're fake. Figments of your imaginations made so you can cope with the loss. Aren't we the lucky one?" Gracia didn't mean to act so maliciously, but the child was going to have to learn one day or another about reality and fiction-something her real daughter had already known. She sighed, trying to release the negative energy in her. "I'm sorry girl, but it's just not real."

"But...," Gracia's solemn look scared her from venturing to question. "What if they start to talk to me?" The child looked over her shoulder as if they were doing it right this moment.

"Ignore it."

"Ignore it?"

"Ignore it with all your might." Elysia looked away. "Elysia... Elysia! Look at me." The child quickly faced her rapidly angering mother. "Promise me, that you'll ignore them. And never tell anyone about those voices ever again."

"I... I promise," When she was sure she defeated the child's imagination Gracia hugged Elysia.

"Now off to bed with you..." Gracia was happy it was over.

But some how, it wasn't...

For whatever happened late that night...

Had caused her mother to carve on her bedroom wall _"Elysium..."_ with a knife before dying with a grin on her face...

Elysia would never forget that moment as long as she lived. It still remained a vivid picture even now, four years later.

* * *

**_A/N: I know, confusing much? But it'll clear up over time. Next chapter is on Elysia (but it's not the next, next chapter)! The quote really is Unknown (tried searching every where for the author). I promise the next chapter won't take as long to put up. So I'm telling you now, if the next chapter is not up by May 1, you're all allowed to be angry. Have a nice day everyone!_**


	8. Redemption

**_Title_****_: Redemption_**

**_Authoress_**_: Lady Constantine_

**_Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails_****_: Fullmetal Alchemist_**

**_Genre_**_: Romance/Angst_

**_Warnings_****_: Rated T for language I guess? I can't really think of anything. Maybe drug abuse..._**

**_Summary:_**

_Come on! What are you waiting for? It's only one shot, one shot till you're free. One shot until redemption... Come on... what are you waiting for?_

**_Author's Note_****_: I almost forgot today was update day. Well, in honor of my three-shot apology I made a two shot to run in between the three shot. The first part is called 'Redemption' the other part is 'Retribution'. Yay!_**

* * *

**_Disclaimer_****_: This is totally not my series but it is my prerogative._**

**_Redemption_**

_One shot..._

_That's all it took to make the pain go away..._

_Just one shot..._

_Of 3-methyl-2-phenylmorpholine other wise known as Phenmetrazine..._

_It would be the poisonous stone he died by, it would be the only crystal he lived by..._

**_Scar_**

_He always heard his love calling out to him_

**_Scar, won't you listen to me?_**

Tempting him to leave the family he struggled so hard to stay with-to create to forget what he had fallen in love with before.

"Tsura's getting bigger everyday." His wife said while watching him hold her in his arms. But he really wasn't thinking about his daughter, or her. He was too far in the past.

"Let it go," she would whisper futilely, but it was often too late-he was already there.

**-.-.-.- POV-.-.-.-**

"Eat it! Eat it!" The cruel master, Dante, said sharply. It landed on the floor like glass and it cut deep like a dagger of the same raw material.

"Don't do it Mirela!-

"Eat it or Scar will die!" And that sealed the deal for her. I cursed when I looked into her eyes. Lust would always put her life before mine, damn her. Damn her! Did she know I didn't care?

_"Don't do it. Don't do it."_

Lust looked over to the bloodied mess I was. When she looked over to me, I cold see that she was-for the first time-crying. Her crying brought about no tears-she had none, but I knew they were there by the aching sobs I would observe for a long time escape from her chest.

"OK," The bitch didn't even wait for Lust to even finish speaking before she forced the insipid liquid down her throat, I almost didn't hear her say... what did she say?

_'Love'_

and

_'You'_

_Love you_? No... there was more... I. Love. You. _I love you_, she loved me, but I didn't know what to say back.

_I wish I did. _

I wish I had known back then how to express my passion (or lust) for her. Our relationship changed from there onwards to her death. It was that moment that I finally had accepted her as a person. Not a human, just as a_ person_. I finally accepted the possibility of her really being alive.

Damned being of blasphemic origin or not, She was still suffering.

I could only watch as she guzzled down the liquid, not fighting for it or against it. My body numbing and preparing for whatever might happen next. But, it didn't prepare me for her next words.

_"Love, I thought did it for you... Sorry."_

Now, I was crying. I heard the words replay in my head when I saw her elongated fingers prying into my flesh and searching for a heart to rip at.

Why didn't I save her? Why couldn't I save her?

Mere flesh wounds shouldn't have stopped me. The fact that my arm had been severed shouldn't have stopped me. The searing pain in my stomach that rose up to my throat as she maliciously attacked me shouldn't have stopped me.

_But it did._

And I watched as her eyes, full of emotion, faded into amtramentous and completely stoic beauty.

"That's right, close your eyes. It'll all be over..."

"G-good night," it was the last words she guzzled through her fogging senses.

"Yeah, goodnight."

**-.-.-.- Omniscient -.-.-.-**

But it would really be goodbye, because Scar was saved, and now he had to live with a woman who loved him, but he didn't love back. Damn those Elrics for finding a way.

_Just like old' times, eh?_ He would joke. Scar hoped and prayed that he would get over Lust, his lust. But it never happened. Not even at the birth of his first child, not even at his second. But he had the tools to end his live now. At his disposal in the drawer to the left contained his last chance to be happy again.

So what was he waiting for?

"Scar? Are you Ok?" Rose interrupted his thoughts. He stared into the eyes of his newborn baby and smiled, the light was coming back to his eyes in a good long while.

"Yeah, just fine," He put on a sleep smile.

Scar played with the little girl, and not just the play to get his wife off his back. This time he really enjoyed her company, who reminded him eerily of someone he once knew.

_You only have one shot to make this right, Scar..._

_Just one shot..._

_If you want the pain to go away..._

_You won't screw this up like you did with me..._

_This is your only _**redemption**_..._

_"Redemption..."_ he said solemnly. "Rose, I love you."

Her eyes lit up-he meant it this time. He would be hers, forever this time. "I... I love you too Scar."

_Redemption... _

This baby would be his saving grace...

* * *

**_A/N: Like the three-shot, all holes will be filled in when the second part. I might expand this into a three-shot too. So it can also have Rose's point of view._**

**_Things to be Explained:_**

**_Phenmetrazine-is a real drug. Do not take it, it has been banned because it's addicting. The Beatles used it._**

**_Tsura-it's Slavic for 'light of dawn'. I thought it was nice to use because Tsura was what got Scar to snap out of it. If I really wanted to be in sync with Ishvalan-Romani transverse I would have used Tsuritsa, but Tsura is much prettier in my opinion._**

**_Mirela-It is the name that WolfChibi-Chan gave to a character in 'Dear September'. She is the other worldly embodiment of Lust, and I figured hey, why not have Scar call her it. It actually fits in quite well since the name means 'to admire' which can be interpreted to Lust._**

**_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I wrote it yesterday so if it's not up to par I'm greatly sorry._**


	9. Yes Ma'am!

**_Title_****_: Yes Ma'am!  
_**

**_Authoress_****_: _**_Lady Constantine_

**_Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails_****_: Fullmetal Alchemist_**

**_Genre_****_: _**_Humor/Family_

**_Warnings_****_: Alex Bashings!_**

**_Summary_**_:_

_Olivia and her brother Alex get into a bit of a scuffle, over what though?_

**_Author's Note_****_: Huh... you're not going to believe this. Not only is my update late, I also lost my FMA notebook that contained both chapters of Dear September and Delirium Trigger... I'm so sorry TT so this is my little drabble featuring Alex and Olivia expressing my deepest apologies. I'll find my note book eventually... This starts from manga chapter 83, where Olivia challenges Alex to a battle and wins._**

* * *

**_Disclaimer: _** **_Sadly I don't own FMA but someone else does._**

**_Yes Ma'am!  
_**

"Let it be written, that I Major General Olivier Milla Armstrong hast thus defeated my cowardly, pansy, disgraceful, little brother Alex Louis Armstrong in a battle for our father's inheritance. Make sure you spell my name right and make sure it's in big letters. Can you write in elegant scrip too?" Olivia pointed her sword at the helpless Sheska.

"Y-yes Ma'am I can try! I mean Sir! No- Ma'am!-

"_**WRITE****!**_"

"Yes Major General!"

Alex watched his sister dictate her meanings to the helpless librarian. She always liked being in charge, even when they were younger. She would always force him to play 'G.I Joe' with her and he'd always end up being the losing side of Xing. Even now he was the losing side-without aid from any outside allied powers. Mainly his sister-he wasn't sure that she noticed that he was still alive. Alex knew deep down she cared for her family's well being. After all-it's why they had this roundabout anyway. He grumbled to give the heads up he hadn't given up the bad habit of living.

"Alex!"

"Yes sister!" He saluted her even though all of his previous energy had been drained just trying to avoid her.

"If you're done sunbathing you can get up now and challenge me again!" Alex stared up to see the roof missing above them.

_So that's what fell on me, he commented in a daze. _Alex arose but not to challenge her, rather, to bow in submission. "No, that's quite alright. You deserve father's property."

"Tch!" Alex knew he had offended her by rejecting, but he really didn't feel like dying today. "You're the most pitiful piece of living trash I had ever seen."

"Yes."

"It's a disgrace to be a member of the same family as you."

"Yes, sister I know." She never failed to point this out to him every meeting they had no matter how brief it was.

"But I accept that. You want to know why?"

"Yes sister, I would very much like to know that."

"Because I..." The last words she uttered were whispered. _"Love you brother..."_

"What?" Had his sister really showed emotion or compassion for him? Immediately he regretted reacting, acknowledging that Olivia had emotions would only drive them further away and turn them into hate. That's what got him here in the first place.

"You're weak! Tomorrow we begin extensive training. The sight of you makes me sick! What do you say?"

"Yes ma'am! I'm sorry ma'am! Won't happen again ma'am!" Sheska turned to Alex then back to Olivia; even a newbie like her could comprehend what would happen next. Silently she reached into her briefcase and pulled out a parchment on Alex's behalf. To distract Olivia from rage was her only concern.

"Um... Major General we need your signature for a wa-

"You idiot! I thought I told you never ever ever to apologize. You bumbling idiot! No wonder you fled from the battle field a pansy like you!"

"A-ah! Yes sister, I'm sorry-oops." Her eyes began to glow a fiery red and she stabbed her brother in the arm, daring him to make another sound. He only sniffed; she dug in deeper eventually getting through it completely.

"Alex, if I die, protect mother and father and Kat especially," she whispered while Sheska was distracted by the blood.

"I will."

"You've always let me down."

"Yes."

"But I know you won't this time."

"Yes, I won't."

"And Alex?"

"Yes sister?" He was tired and just wanted to go to sleep.

"I'm sorry about your arm."

He sighed and smiled. "No apologizing, right?" Alex smiled, knowing that he ruined his only chance of being intimate with his sister for more than five minutes. He knew that she much rather have someone close to hate, than someone distant to love.

"Shut up." She pulled her sowred out quickly. "Get that fixed. Sheska! I'm not done with you, we still have to write up my will too!"

Alex sighed. "Yes Sister."

* * *

**_A/N_****_: Well there you go! I added Sheska for... I dunno I really like her for some reason. If I don't find my notebook she's going to be the star of the next chapter! It's probably in my locker at school. I feel a lot like Alex does right now... Once again, I apologize!_**


End file.
